My toaster

Posted on Jan 1, 0001


This is my toaster.

It is not connected to the Internet.

I own it.

I can sell it.

If it breaks, I can fix it or reuse the parts.

It works when the network is down.

It was not released as a beta version.

It does not have any software bugs.

I never have to update the firmware.

It was not designed to become obsolete.

I am not locked in to this brand of toaster.

I have no ongoing business relationship with the manufacturer.

They can’t shut it down, or limit its performance.

If they go out of business, my toaster will keep working.

I don’t have a password on their web site.

Their web site has never been hacked, revealing my personal information.

They don’t call me or send me email.

I don’t have to deal with their customer support.

I didn’t sign a license agreement without reading it.

They’ve never updated their privacy policies.

They don’t collect data about my toast-making behavior.

They don’t sell my data to companies that make bread, jam, or health insurance.

They don’t record my conversations. Or my children’s.

I will never read a news story about the company misusing the data they collect.

My toaster does not show me ads.

I paid for it, and I am not the product.

This is my toaster.